Listening for Feelings

Children communicate to parents much more than words or ideas. Behind the words often lie feelings. Below are some typical "messages" children send. Read each separately, trying to listen for feelings. Then select the feeling or feelings you heard. Discard the "content" and choose only the feeling-usually one or several words. Some of the statements may contain several different feelings. Choose all of the main feelings you hear. The most accurate answer is shown below each statement.

Child Says

Example: I don't know what is wrong. I can't figure it out. Maybe I should just quit trying.

1. is stumped
2. is discouraged
3. is tempted to give up

Child Says

1. Oh boy, only ten more days until schools out.
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1. Glad
2. Relieved
2. Look Daddy, I made an airplane with my new tools.
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1. Proud
2. Pleased
3. Will you hold my hand when we go into the nursery school?
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1. Afraid, fearful
4. I am not having any fun I cannot think of anything to do.
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1. Bored
2. Stumped
5. I'll never be good like Jim. I practice and practice and she is still better than me.
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1. Feels inadequate
2. Discouraged
6. My new teacher gives us too much homework. I can never get it all done.
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1. Feels job is too hard
2. Feels defeated
7. All the other kids went to the beach. I don't have anyone to play with
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1. Left behind
2. Lonely
8. Jim's parents let him ride his bike to school but I'm a better rider than Jim.
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1. Feels parents are being unfair
2. Feels competant
9. I shouldn't have been so mean to little Nicholas. I guess I was bad.
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1. Feels guilty
2. Regrets his action
10. I want to wear my hair this way – it's my hair isn't it?
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1. Resents interference of parents
11. Do you think I'm doing this report right? Will it be good enough?
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1. Feels some doubt
2. Not sure
12. Why did she make me stay after school anyway? I wasn't the only one who was talking. I'd like to punch her in the nose.
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1. Angry, hateful
2. Feels it was unfair
13. I can do it myself. You don't need to help me. I'm old enough to do it myself.
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1. Feels competent
2. Doesn't want help
14. Math is too hard. I'm too dumb to understand it.
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1. Frustrated
2. Feels inadequate
15. Go away. Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you or anybody else. You don't care what happens to me anyway.
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1. Feels hurt
2. Feels angry
3. Feels unloved
16. For a while I was doing good, but now I'm worse than before. I try hard, but it doesn't seem to help. What's the use?
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1. Discouraged
2. Wanting to give up
17. I would sure like to go but I just can't call her up. What if she would laugh at me for asking her?
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1. Wants to go
2. Afraid
18. I never want to play with Pam anymore. She is mean.
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1. Angry
19. I'm sure glad I happened to be born the baby of you and daddy rather than some other parents.
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1. Grateful, glad
2. Appreciates parents
20. I think I know what to do but maybe it's not right. I always seem to do the wrong thing. What do you think I should do dad, work or go to college?
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1. Uncertain, unsure