Sometimes it will become apparent that a conflict exists in a relationship. Both of you are experiencing feelings of unacceptance, dissatisfaction, unmet needs, in your relationship. Often, the existence of such a conflict becomes evident when one of you expresses your unmet needs or confronts the other person.
Examples of "We Own the Problem":
In Gordon Model workshops, we refer to these situations as "We Own the Problem" or "The Relationship Owns the Problem."
Recall the six steps of Method III?:
In the Pre-Step, you set the stage by explaining how Method III works and handling feelings of upset.
Step 1 is to Define the Problem. It is by far the most important of the six steps. The more clearly you understand a problem, the more applicable and relevant your solutions will be and the better the whole process will flow.
In Step 2, you Brainstorm possible solutions to the problem.
At Step 3, you Evaluate and reality test your brainstormed ideas to predict which will work the best.
At Step 4, you Choose the most promising solution or combination of solutions.
In Step 5, you Implement the chosen solution. This involves answering the question, "Who does What by When?"
Step 6, involves Checking to make sure the solution worked to solve the problem.